In the four years I’ve been in Scotland, this establishment provided me with the singularly worst dining experience I ever had. It’s been two years now and this remains the outstanding example of what a bad restaurant experience can be.
I write this review as a cautionary tale for others. (Sadly, it was only after the fact that I spoke with friends who had had similar experiences there.)
We had gone for an evening walk along the beach in Broughty Ferry one evening and came across what looked like a lovely venue. The menu seemed acceptable and the prices reasonable. We drove back to Dundee then spent a tenner on a cab to get back there.
Our first clue was arriving in a near empty restaurant and being told that all the tables near the windows were reserved. We were seated at a tiny cramped table set in such a way as to be constantly in the way of all the staff.
The bartender (that we think was the owner), came to take our drinks order. When I asked if they had a cocktail list, he demanded to know if it looked like the kind of place that did cocktails (it did, or I wouldn’t have asked).
My partner and I both ordered fish dishes for our starters and mains – they were over salted, over cooked, dry and generally dreadful. Service fluctuated between poor and nonexistent.
The meal wasn’t done though. I suggested to my partner that they might actually be the kind of place that specializes in nice desserts and tea/coffee and might be a better choice as the destination of winter’s walk than for an actual venue. He sagely ordered ice cream.
I ordered the fruit Pavlova.
What was served to me was… almost indescribable. I’ll try my best. Imagine what Jackson Pollock might have created. When he was 2. If he’d been left unsupervised. With chocolate powder, fruit, and toffee sauce. This was worse.
The waitress delivered it with something akin to pride and thankfully withdrew immediately to go back to ignoring us. This left us free to succumb to the hysterical laughter that had been threatening all night.
Before we left, I stopped in the loo. The same attention to detail had been applied there as to everything else and I opted to leave rather than use the disgusting facilities. After all, it was just another ten pound cab ride home.
I’m giving it one star, only because there is nothing worse to give. If there was an option for a gilded turd (i.e. an awful place that looks fine until you actually sit down in the restaurant), it would get five.